Don’t Let Your Jealousy Ruin Your Happiness
I believe that there are three types of social media users; those who follow others they admire and care for, those who follow people for the acquisition of information, and those who follow out of envy for what the other person has.
Each of these motivations, in its own way, feeds into that constant state of comparison that social media creates. Many people often find themselves asking questions like, “How does my dish look compared to the instagram chef?” “How does my body look compared to the influencer who makes lifting weights seem so easy,” or “How does my singing sound compared to the professional who has been on the stage for years?”
The issue isn’t the comparison itself, but that fact that we compare ourselves so often to those who are indirectly connected to us, i.e. celebrities, influencers, and even acquaintances we don’t know too well, that when we come in contact with those who are directly in our lives, we easily fall into the trap of feeling jealous when we don’t have what they have.
All of this can cause self-doubt, and can grow into something much more significant, like resentment, insecurity and frustration. It can lead to negative self talk, where we question our own self worth and value. Instead of focusing on our own goals, we perceive what others have as something that we lack, and measure our happiness based on this.
What we truly lack is the courage to be ourselves in a technological world that wants us to be like everybody else.
The culture of comparison, whether rooted in admiration, information or envy, becomes a powerful force in self-perception. It is dangerous and unproductive to be in this constant state of comparison, especially when that comparison makes you feel small, and leaves very little time for you to think about your own purpose in this life.
Jealousy and this culture of comparison isn’t only self-inflicting. Overtime it can ruin relationships, lead to competition where there should be collaboration, and destroy communities. At its worst, jealousy can be the cause of many personal disputes, societal divides, and even wars throughout history.
So, what can we do to control our jealousy and regain our peace of mind?
Here are a few suggestions:
Recognize that those we are envious & jealous of also have their own struggles.
What we see on social media is what the other person chose to show and is only a fraction of what they are experiencing in life.
Be aware of your body when it tells you that you are feeling jealous- acknowledge that comparison is natural, but that it is also unproductive when you have your own goals.
Live with gratitude. It is important to focus on what you have and all the things you have accomplished in your life.
Don’t measure your progress against others, measure it against yourself.
Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion regularly.
Though jealousy may be a natural human response, it does not have to define who you are. It doesn’t have to ruin your connections with yourself or with other people. Jealousy doesn’t have to steal your happiness.
If you focus on being kind to yourself, it will lead to you showing up with kindness to connect with other, and ultimately leave no room for jealousy in your heart.
