Have You Thought About Therapy?

“Therapy?! I don’t need no therapy!”

I heard these words from someone close to me recently as they rejected my suggestion that they could benefit from some extra help navigating some of the emotional baggage that they had been dealing with. They told me that they didn’t need therapy because it was only for ‘those people’- the people with problems-the people who were weak. 

I recognize that most of this persons’ trauma stemmed from generations of unhealed family drama. Because of this, they were never provided with additional tools when deciding on how to react to the stimulus that caused them so much pain. Throughout their life they were only provided with two primal responses to their pain; fight or flight. I also understand that this issue is a part of a bigger societal problem in my country where therapy is viewed as something for the weak; or as taboo. You don’t dare talk about your feelings. 

People deal with trauma in various ways. Some are aggressive- they’d prefer to get into violent arguments with people they’re supposed to love, instead of fostering space for dialogue. Some trauma responses cause people to shut down completely or run away. These types of people retreat and remove themselves from the situation because conflict is too difficult of a burden. 

I’m a runner…and I’m working on it. 

Neither of these two responses are healthy. Being verbally aggressive or running away from problems won’t stop whatever we’re dealing with from showing up time and time again. 

There has to be a way to help us not to fight or flee, but to work through.

Having a toolbox of options when it comes to dealing with pain is important because trauma impacts all of us. We have all been or will be faced with a traumatic experience at some point or another, and having multiple ways to navigate it will not only make us better as individuals but can also help to heal those around us and heal our communities.

Author James Clear in his book, Atomic Habits shares that between each stimulus and response to that stimulus is a choice. I believe that therapy is about choice. It’s about showing up and saying  ‘I’m going to open my toolbox and choose this specific action at this particular moment because it is the healthiest choice for me and those around me.” Therapy helps us to navigate those choices with more time and  sound judgement.

So, if therapy is only for the weak, then we must do some deep internal work and admit that we all have problems and that at some point we all will experience weak moments. 

Even the oak trees fall.

Yes, therapy is for people with problems. Therapy for ‘those people’

Here’s some news for you- we all have problems. We are all “those people,” so how about a little dose of therapy?